A Cigarette

I am a person of schedule and goal meeting. This can be a blessing and it can also be a hindrance. I often miss a blessing by not stopping to pay attention to an interruption in order to keep on schedule.

I am constantly reexamining my days schedule to see how more effective the day can be. I was thinking on this the other day. My goal is to always start my day with time with the Lord, and to end the day the same way. I have difficulty falling asleep and usually fall asleep easier listening to my iPod or television.

This presented a conundrum to me; if I was going to end my day with the Lord, would I be undoing the good if after prayer I would be listening to the television or something else. I love it when I wake up and a chorus or hymn or scripture verse is the first thing that enters my mind. I wanted to fall asleep the same way.

As my thoughts wandered along this path I remembered, that 38 years ago when I was a smoker, the very first thing I did in the morning was light up a cigarette. The very last thing I did at night was light up a cigarette. My day’s activities were literally built around the next cigarette. If the bus took too long in coming --- good! I could have a cigarette while I waited. If I needed to think over a problem, I did it with a cigarette. If I was upset, the cigarette was a good way to calm down.

“My goodness, I thought, if I gave as much time and thought to the Lord as I did to that cigarette, where would my spiritual walk be?” I don’t mean to give the impression that I don’t pray to the Lord throughout the day, I do. I am talking about the focus that the addiction to the cigarette had in my mind and attitude.

My addiction dictated, “I want to hurry up with these dishes so I can have a smoke.” What if my desire was, “If I hurry up with this chore, I can go and spend some time with the Lord?”

My nicotine dependence said when I was with non-smokers, “I need to get away and have a quick smoke.” What if when surrounded by unbelievers my desire to spend a few minutes away to be with the Lord was an overwhelming need the way the need for the cigarette was.

When I had to wait too long for a bus or whatever, my attitude was, “Oh good, a chance for a smoke.”

What if my attitude when I have to wait for something, now was, “Oh good, a chance to spend some time with you Lord.”

What if my whole day, not just the morning and evening was built around the next opportunity to snatch a moment with my Lord, the way it used to be built around the next opportunity to snatch a cigarette.

Doesn’t my Lord, deserve at least as much devotion and attention as a cigarette?

Hmmmm, I think I just got took out to the woodshed again! And I am glad for it!

I am so thankful that the Lord takes our life’s experiences and uses them to teach us how to walk deeper with Him.